the mind is weak easyly confused and influenced by the envorment upon in whic it was placed...
and in turn what u get is missplaced hate ...
for any one who holds a differnt face ...
or just so happen t be born in a differten place...
all because our brains are to small to understand ...
how we were all created by the same hands ...
you se we were sprinkeld out of dust so in essence were lower then dirt ...
but we think were the shit so we cause pain till our own creators head hurts...

Desire for sex, sex drive, or libido - whatever you choose to call it - is one of the strongest urges experienced by humans

Why we get turned on

Sex drive varies considerably from person to person, and each individual can experience changes in their sex drive from time to time. Some people are driven by a powerful libido that fuels sexual activity at least once a day. For others, sex drive is low-key and is satisfied by sexual intimacy occurring less than once a month.

Sexologists describe two main types of sex drive:


Physical libido: the aggressive, testosterone-dominant sex drive, in which there is a drive to find a sexual mate


Psychological libido: the receptive, oestrogen-dominant sex drive, in which there is a passive willingness to accept the sexual overtures of a potential mate

There is a little of each drive in everyone. Men are said to reach their peak physical sex drive in their teens, while their psychological sex drive peaks after the age of 50 when testosterone levels fall. Women are said to reach their physical sexual peak in their thirties or forties while their psychological sex drive reaches its maximum, like men, in their fifties.

It is easy to take your sex drive for granted when it is working normally and helping you maintain a healthy, loving relationship. When it fails, however, it can have a devastating effect on your life. Low sex drive is common. Surveys suggest it affects 20 per cent of the population at any one time, including 30 per cent of middle-aged women, 60 per cent of stressed executives, over 70 per cent of postmenopausal women and 80 per cent of new mothers.

Top turn-offs

Loss of sex drive may be due to a variety of reasons, and the most common culprits are:


Anxiety, stress and overwork
Lack of exercise and physical unfitness
Tiredness and lack of energy
Being overweight
Pregnancy and breast-feeding
Depression
Side-effects of some drugs - including the oral contraceptive Pill
Hormonal changes during menopause

Everyone has a different sex drive, and this can vary significantly from person to person and from time to time. As long as you and your partner are both happy with the frequency at which you make love, you should consider your sex drive to be normal for you. However, if one partner develops a lower sex drive, while that of their partner remains unchanged, this can cause problems in a relationship; often leaving the partner with the lower libido feeling pressurised, and the other feeling neglected or unloved.

For women, a regular sex life seems to help an irregular menstrual cycle and reduce symptoms of PMS. Interestingly, research in the US suggests that women who have regular sex every week (except during menstruation) tend to be more fertile, with oestrogen levels about twice as high as those who are less sexually active. This seems to be especially important around the menopause, as women having regular sex experience less hot flushes and tend to age more slowly than those who do not have sex at least once a week.

Sexual activity is also good for keeping the pelvic floor muscles toned, as well as improving general fitness.

It is easy to take your sex drive for granted in helping to maintain a healthy, loving relationship. When it fails however, it can have a devastating effect on your life.

Help for low sex drive

It can be embarrassing to talk about low libido but there are several things you can try before plucking up the courage to seek medical help.

Lifestyle changes

Several diet and lifestyle changes can help toincrease your sex drive - especially where this is due to stress, tiredness, lack of fitness or overwork:


Slowly lose any excess weight through a sensible healthy eating plan
Take regular, brisk exercise for at least 30 minutes a day to increase levels of testosterone - don't over-train, however, as this can have the opposite effect
Reduce stress levels, as high stress triggers hormone changes that can switch sex drive off
Avoid excess alcohol
Avoid smoking cigarettes - they can lower oestrogen levels and reduce sex drive
Take regular time out to relax
Ensure you get plenty of sleep
Spend quality time with your partner, sharing fun experiences that help to draw you closer together

Now you have got to the roots of what really turns you on, find out how to boost your sex drive in Part Two of the Sexual Health Workshop.

Secret 1: Successful Married Couples get their deal straight
Marriage is different from living together. It's not necessarily better, but it's different. Both of you will have different expectations of a 'spouse' than of a 'artner' - often basing those expectations on what you saw of your parents' married life. For example, you may have been happy for your man to live the student life before the wedding, but afterwards, you expect him to draw a regular salary.

Successful couples talk deeply before the wedding about their expectations of each other, and if there's serious disagreement - for example he wants kids, she doesn't - they think seriously about whether to marry. After the wedding, successful couples also talk regularly to check their expectations of married life. If those expectations clash, they keep communicating until they have understanding and agreement.

Secret 2: Successful Married Couples keep their individuality
However independent you were before, marriage has a habit of sucking you in to being a couple.

Particularly if the marriage involves children, your lives are increasingly tied up together day-to-day. The result is often feeling both dependent and depended on - as though you have someone constantly clinging to your ankles.

Successful couples know that, however much love there is, marriage can bring this trapped feeling. They encourage each other not to be always 'us', to take 'me' time, to have 'me' hobbies and even 'me' friends. This way, each partner brings individuality in to the marriage, keeping it fresh and alive.


Secret 3: Successful Married Couples keep each other centre stage
It's tempting, once married, to forget the little courtesies. When you were going out - and still trying - you remembered the little things, such as serving each other first, and remembered the big things like respectfully listening to each other.

Marriage can cause a sea of change and often you stop being courteous to each other, stop seeing each other as important and instead start putting other things - like work, hobbies or the children - first.

Successful couples always keep each other centre stage. They are interested in their partner's opinions. They take their partner seriously. They refer to their spouse in glowing terms when talking to other people. In short, they never take each other for granted and remember how lucky they are to be married.

Secret 4: Successful Married Couples learn to resolve conflicts
American psychologist John Gottman did a 20-year study of married couples and concluded that the main element that separated success from failure was whether they could resolve conflicts or not.

The bottom line is that unless the two of you are clones or doormats, there'll be times when you disagree and times when these disagreements cause pain. Sure, you shouldn't put up with addiction, violence or abuse. But if your partner simply wants something different from you or does something differently from you, you must resolve that.

Successful couples keep communicating, whatever the bad feeling between them. They negotiate differences and disagreements so that they both end up getting a fair deal. They smile and support each other rather than nag and whinge. They accept that sometimes, loving is more important than winning.

Secret 5: Successful Married Couples keep the lust alive
On your wedding night, you may rip each other's knickers off - but to be honest, in the years that follow, desire's going to dip. Plus, nowadays, marriage often coincides with the ultimate passion killer, the birth of your first baby.

Successful couples know that to keep lust alive, you need to actively prioritise lovemaking and make time and taking space for it. You need to make sure you're constantly updating your knowledge of each other's sexual needs, finding new ways to please each other.

Successful couples stay affectionate. If there's a sexual drought, they ride it out by flirting, touching, hugging, kissing and being romantic.

Secret 6: Successful Married Couples grow with each other
The bottom line is that the person you marry won't be the person you're still married to in ten years' time. You'll both change - particularly at crunch points in your lives such as starting a family, losing a parent or facing the empty nest.

Successful couples know that one or both partners will shift in personality at these times. It can feel as if the rules have changed; what it means is that you need to change in order to keep up with the changing relationship.

Successful couples anticipate shifts and ride with them. Rather than demanding they both stay the same forever, they welcome the natural developments of personality and partnership that happen with time.

Secret 7: Successful Married Couples keep working at it
The fact that you're married can make you rest on your laurels - as the years pass, you may feel that nothing can harm your bond.

But beware! Time and a false sense of security can erode even the strongest love. So successful couples take rain checks and keep having regular 'where are we at' conversations to make sure that they're both happy with the way things are going.

If one or both of you is discontented, then fix the problem. And don't fight shy of getting professional help. Successful couples don't wait until the divorce papers are signed before seeing a counsellor - they troubleshoot at the earliest possible moment.

Help for Successful Couples:

Contact Relate on 0845 1 30 40 10 for a list of local counsellors. Or try Relate Direct, a new telephone counselling service on 0845 1 30 40 16.

If We're So In Love, Why Aren't We Happy? by Susan Page (Piatkus)

Stop Arguing Start Talking by Susan Quilliam (Vermilion)

Why Marriages Succeed or Fail by John Gottman (Bloomsbury)

After reading 53, I wonder how a man can improve his penis, or get it in better shape.

6. Go red. Colours create a sexy mood. Red, dark blue and violet are the three most erotic colours. And the least erotic? Grey.

12. Feed your man cinnamon, cardamom, peppermint and lemon if you're planning to give him oral pleasure. It'll make his semen taste nicer.

13. And don't let him near garlic, onions, curry or asparagus - all these foods will make his semen taste unpleasant.

14. Convince him to buy you more jewellery by masturbating him with a string of pearls. Use lots of lubrication, then wrap the pearls around the shaft of his penis, slowly stroking them up and down. They'll add different levels of stimulation to the experience.

16. If you enjoy outdoor sex, try this: take a drive to the country, open the car's sunroof and perch yourself on the edge of it, with your legs dangling down inside. Now have your man - who is still inside the car - lick you to orgasm. If anyone should pass by, you'll simply look like you're sunbathing and, once you're done, it's his turn.

20. Sit on top of him with your feet tucked in tight either side of his bum. Now lean back as though you were riding a bucking bronco and enjoy the extra stimulation on the front wall of your vagina - an incredibly sensitive spot.

This one is REALLY weird: 23. Make oral sex better for you and for him with some ice cream. But don't just spoon it on - buy an ice cream cone, bite off the end and slip it over his still-soft penis. Now add the ice cream and take your time nibbling and licking until he's so hard that he breaks out of the cone! Who ever said ice cream was just for kids.

28. Take turns pouring minty alcohol into your belly buttons, dipping your tongues and tracing shapes around each other's bodies. Now gently blow to increase evaporation, which will add to the stimulation. Hopefully before you're both the wrong side of squiffy and a funny shade of green.

31. To get him ready for sex in the morning, make him cereal with chopped apple and almonds - both have high levels of phenylethylamine, which will help get him in the mood.

I like champagne, but: 33. Take a swig of champagne before going down on him. Keep it in your mouths by creating a 'seal' with your lips, then use your tongues to swirl the bubbles around the head of his penis. Nerve endings react to the bubbles, heightening sensation, and when he's suitably satisfied he can do the same for you.

Again, I like mint, but: 34. Most people know that mints can make oral sex even better (and is handy for freshening breath, too), but did you know that M&S's Curiously Strong Mints are your best choice? 'They contain peppermint oil, which has a higher content of menthol than spearmint, making them zingier in your mouth,' says clinical nutritionist Farah Mohamed. And on your private parts.

35. Don't be too gentle when you're giving him a helping hand. Although you must never bend an erect penis (it can break), you do need to apply a fair amount of force when masturbating him - particularly when he's about to come. If you're still in doubt, try masturbating in front of each other - you'll both be turned on and will get to see how it's done.

36. Men do love the sensation of their penis deep inside your throat. Why? Because there are so many more nerve endings at the penis tip and, when it rubs on the back of your throat, it feels great. So, to get more of him inside you, try doing it with him standing and you kneeling so your chin is raised, elongating your throat.

37. If deep throat makes you gag, just use your hands. Use your lips to move up and down his shaft and form an 'okay' sign with your fingers, following your lips' movement. This is the surest route to a mind-blowing orgasm for him.

38. Licking his penis like a lollipop is fine for foreplay but, if you're trying to get him to orgasm, he needs some friction. Form your lips in a tight 'O' shape (covering your teeth), so that as you move up and down his shaft the foreskin moves too, and make an effort to stimulate the head of his penis with the flat of your tongue as you come up. Get this trick right and he'll be more than happy to give you the tongue tickling you deserve too.

39. Don't get stuck on sucking him - there's nothing worse for a man than if a woman is 'working' too hard when giving fellatio. Relax, try to enjoy it, explore his penis with your tongue, lips and hands - don't head-bob for hours on end in the hope that he'll come soon. He'll come a lot quicker if it feels like you're enjoying it.

40. Sing to him while you give him oral pleasure. The lower the notes the more vibrations he'll feel and, believe us, he won't care if you're in tune or not - it'll feel great.

I cannot condone this one: 41. Explore his nether regions more fully. Many men don't even realise how pleasurable anal stimulation can be until some adventurous explorer shows them how. Use loads of lubricant (you can't have too much) and place your finger over his anus, initially stimulating it without penetrating. Once he's comfortable you can edge your finger in slowly, and when it's in an inch or so in, wiggle your finger in a 'come hither' motion. This stimulates his prostate gland, and you'll be surprised at how much he loves it.

42. Watch porn. A recent poll undertaken by The Mirror newspaper found that women are just as aroused by watching erotic films as men. So get cosy on the sofa and stick on a video - we recommend starting with a film like 9 and a Half Weeks or Emmanuelle.


43. Go ape to improve your sex life. Gorillas may have tiny penises (less than 3cm long) but they make up for it with hours of arousing mutual grooming. Doing this releases pleasure-inducing brain chemicals and makes great foreplay. Have your man wash your hair or ask him to rub your body lotion in. Or offer to scrub his back while he's in the bath. Who said sex had to be dirty?

Ahh, and he said his lip was swollen.: 44. Seals bite each other during sex and it seems there's good reason for it. 'Gentle biting brings blood to the surface of the skin,' says sex expert Petra Boynton, 'making it more sensitive to touch.' Your reactions to each kiss or caress will be intensified, making you both come more quickly.

I am pretty sure, 'ow,' works: 45. But avoid biting like a mink. These furry creatures also enjoy a good nibble but, sometimes, the males get it wrong and accidentally pierce the female's brain, killing her. Use a code word during sex to indicate that something is hurting or unpleasurable. Choose a word that you wouldn't normally say during sex, such as Coventry for example.

Now this might get people to exercise, or eat more healithily: 46. Tease your man into training by telling him about the male giant water bug. This unfeasibly energetic aquatic critter goes at it for 36 hours - non-stop! Persuade him to do at least three 30-minute sessions of rowing, cycling or running a week - he'll soon be winning gold in the sexual Olympics too.

Hey, I do thin on top, or down low, and I even got my guy to start doing it just as randomly as I do: 47. 'When my girlfriend's on top, she sometimes does this extra-special move: instead of moving up and down, she does a figure-of-eight swivel with her hips. It really works for me.'

I like cold: 48. 'I met this Croatian girl last year who kept a bottle of vodka in the freezer. When we had sex, she'd drink some, then lick my nipples and my neck, lightly blowing on the area afterwards. Amazing.'

Uh: 49. 'I love it when a girl stimulates me with her hands while she's standing behind me. Not being able to see her makes it feel naughty, plus it rids her of any inhibitions.'


Do you thrust together or opposite?: 50. 'There's nothing better than having a girl wrap her legs around you, locking her ankles together. That way she's got leverage to push back at you with every thrust.'

Um, stilettos can hurt.: 51. 'I just love it when a girl keeps some of her clothes on during sex - skirt, shirt or, better still, boots or stilettos. It makes it feel illicit - and so arousing.'

52. 'My girlfriend loves going down on me while I'm still soft. It really turns her on to think that she can make me hard with a few flicks and twists of her tongue. And it feels great to get hard in her mouth.'

PELVIC EXERCISES!!!!!: 53. 'After my partner had our second child, she did pelvic exercises using the Pelvicisor (£49.99 from natural-woman.com) to strengthen her vaginal muscles. A few months later, the sex was better than ever.'

Interesting guy comments: 55. 'My wife's just had a baby, so sex feels different now. But she's developed this great new trick: she slips her hand down between us, with two fingers either side of the base of my penis. The extra friction makes me come really easily and the pressure on her clitoris makes her orgasm too.'

More 'interesting'comments: 56. 'enetration isn't essential for a great orgasm. An ex-girlfriend of mine used to sit on top of me, with my penis flattened against my stomach. Then she'd slide herself up and down the shaft without letting it go inside her. If I shut my eyes it felt exactly like a mouth.'

More interesting thoughts from guys:57. 'My girlfriend ties a stocking around the base of my penis before it's erect. Then she licks me till I'm hard. She keeps licking and sucking, but when she senses I'm about to come, she pulls the stocking a little tighter, loosening it again when the moment's passed. When I finally do come, it's really powerful.'

This is new and shiney: 59. 'When performing oral sex, put your tongue inside her vagina and move it around before taking it out, and licking upwards, kissing and gently sucking the clitoris as you go'.

"Mirror, mirror,": 60. 'We've got a mirror in the wardrobe next to our bed, and I just love it when my girlfriend's on top with her back diagonally on to it. I get to watch the action from behind and the front! Better than any porn film.'

This is old news, with new leg bends: 61. 'When I go down on my girlfriend she lies on her side with one foot flat on the bed and her knee bent, and I lick her side-on, rather than lengthways. I find it much easier to get to her clitoris, and once I'm done she's more than happy to return the favour.'

Now that's how you go full body: 62. 'My girlfriend and I cover ourselves in baby oil, then once I'm inside her she lies flat on top of me. The full-body contact as she slides up and down feels phenomenal

Old news combined: 63. 'When my partner goes down on me I love him to do a "come here" signal very slowly with two fingers inside me, especially if he's gently licking my clit at the same time.'

If you're into it: 65. 'My partner and I like it if, during foreplay, I masturbate him to the point of climax and then move straight on to sex. This makes him last longer, without making him sore from too much penetrative sex'.

Get choreographed: 66. I get great clitoral stimulation when my partner lies on top and slightly to the side so I have one leg up slightly and bent, and the other flat. Instead of him just moving in and out, he also grinds, rubbing against me as I lift up and into him.

you weren't already paranoid

*** If you want to know who I am and see what I'm like, cruise this profile or go to my Deviant Art .
And the bright moonrise will open my eyes, Bursting forth, shining bright the stars light the skies, A song in a lonely tree, sung just for me, Sung by the nightingale, mingled with the crickets’ jubilee. Rushes rustle, bustled by the breeze It dances on the leaves and bends the creaking trees, A stem, a twig, dips down tapping the water’s skin in, Rippling flying shimmering, the dragonflies take wing I die in the midnight music, soul rising high, A voice added to the rhapsody of night In between the stars I weave, a silk-thread trail I leave Like a spider, spinning stories, lives and dreams Connecting the stars, to show the gods the majesty A mortal can bring, far away from the pain or cruelty That a human would suffer, free Now that the moonrise moonlight shines, shimmers And on the ground, in my dead reverent eyes, a single tear of unremitting joy echoes and glimmers.
*** Dreaming is what hearts do to wish, to hope, to understand, to learn, to reach, to sing, to fly, to hide, to find, to bring about change. ***

I found this, I did not write it.